


Electrify My Heart

by Bignonbinarygay



Category: The LEGO Batman Movie (2017)
Genre: Angst I guess, Fluff, M/M, also my joker is stubby chubby and trans so, batman thinking about how gay he is, cheesy as hell thanks, joker being like damn me too dude, slight mention of violence?, suicide mention?, theres that, uhh like a sex reference slash joke stay away if tht mkes u uncomfy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-16
Updated: 2019-01-16
Packaged: 2019-10-11 03:14:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17438876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bignonbinarygay/pseuds/Bignonbinarygay
Summary: Batman has some time to reflect on his career and relationships. One in particular. Also That Clown Mother Fucker happens to drop in.





	Electrify My Heart

Batman swung down using his batarang, landing stealthily with ease on the cold dark rooftop. He approached the edge, hand thoughtfully on his chin as he surveyed Gotham. Lately it had been peaceful. He knew Joker and Harley's buddyversary was coming up soon, however, so he'd likely need to be on the lookout for that. God, last year the insanity they’d caused was barely contained and there's still nuclear radiation plaguing the unluckier neighborhoods south of downtown. He almost chuckled. Joker has never left him bored. Batman's heart picked up pace thinking of how he'd choked slammed the wiggly bastard, their bodies getting closer, the feel of Joker’s chest pressing against his own - their pulses racing -  
Batman shook his head. These must be normal. Normal enemy feelings. Yes. Feelings of intense rage that definitely made no trips south. South of the belt. The bat belt. Nope. That sweet, puritanical family stayed cozy wayyy up north. Haha. For sure.  
Anyway. For now, Gotham had a moment of peace. Batman sat on his perch, thinking. 70 plus years. Seventy years of this... he stared at his hands. Teasing. Fighting. Losing. Winning. It was like paint, slowly blending and slipping through his hands. The original beauty and colors and meaning dripping, slipping into this endless and soundless cacophony of just. Muddled. Grey areas. But it's not as simple as grey is it? No. Its yellow and black and, he scoffed, purples and greens and reds. His face fell. It was so hard to tell where his heart lie these days.  
It used to be so clear. Help the public, save the day. Get the guy. Next guy. Next guy. Grapple, punch, dodge. Escape. Wake up as a stranger. Living this double life has washed the certainty in the mirror away. Batman? A hero who belonged to the public. Bruce Wayne? A rich asshole who kept to himself. But he kept staring at those hands. What man did these hands belong to? Him? Which him? The people? Where does it end?  
He chuckles again. Hell, they might as well belong to the Joker. His hands, touching those hands -  
Again, this is standard protocol. Shaking crying lonely in your bed at five AM is purely the hero-villain dynamic we all accept. And Bruce surely accepts it. Truly! He shivered and looked at the sky. Truly.  
  
On the other side of the building Batman distantly heard the sound of scrambling and quiet mumbling. The sound might as well have been miles miles miles away because all Batman could think about was the grin on Joker’s face when he was cockily rattling off his newest stroke of genius. The flush of pride for Joker that he felt in his gut, a feeling he'd sooner charge off the roof before ever admitting to. He couldn't fight the natural grin when he remembered how he'd once accidentally found Joker’s ticklish spot and may or may not have wasted a good half hour absolutely tormenting the poor guy. The anger when his rival got hurt because he was stupid enough to just stand there and take the brunt of an entire bomb. Supervillains were supposed to have super powers - Superman with his flying and laser vision - hell these aliens scared him most of the time. But Joker was like him. Just some freak in his sona suit.  
Batman dimly noted the presence of someone sitting beside him. For some reason this did not click at all and he politely stared at their ridiculous clown Converse and nodded in acknowledgment. Back to his thoughts.  
Once it had become very apparent what Joker's motives were. Yes, he had to spell it out for Batman, but his plan that was basically a mass suicide? Just to get Batman's affections? Yeah. Batman may be completely emotionally stifled but even there he identified with the desperation.  
His thoughts were interrupted by a throat being cleared. Batman suddenly remembered he was on a rooftop and shot his gaze to his rogue companion.  
“Hey it isn't safe to -” the words caught in his throat. He was met with a devilish grin that was way too far away from him.  
“To be a hundred feet up when you're _perfectly suicidal??_ ” Joker guffawed and scooted closer. “I do believe that's why I sit with none other than the mother bird of Gotham!” he tossed an overly familiar arm around Batman’s shoulders, grinning wildly at him. Now normally Batman would throw a punch, toss him off the damn roof himself. But the mood? The lighting? So high up? It all... worried him. He frowned a bit and furrowed his brow. With swift decisiveness he took Joker into his stern embrace.  
“- Hey!!” the gross clown man stuttered. “what is--??” his protests were only met by Batman leaning into his touch, still staring off into the distance. The Joker blushed angrily, though his face paint was thick enough to hide that.  
“This is entirely unbecoming of a Greatest Enemy y'know.” he huffed as he wrapped his arms around Batman fully, burrowing his face into his chest and adjusting to get comfortable.  
Batman didn't reply, simply resting his chin on the Joker’s head. For a moment, comfortable silence eased between the two of them, and they lay there. For a moment. Batman hid a pleased smile. For a moment. His thoughts wandered again.  
“Remember that time you dressed as a woman Batman for Halloween before robbing the bank?” Batman snorted. “How confused and uncomfortable everyone got?” Joker looked up at him, confusion but a glint of something else in his eyes. Batman laughed again, raising a fist to hide his widening grin. “Hell, Harley was just dressed as me. She may be the better hero, too.” he mused. Joker was smiling too.  
“Probably the first time you'd seen me without my binder.” Joker added smoothly. Batman hummed in acknowledgment. “Definitely our cleanest get away. The Bats got every dime!” Joker taunted, smirking crudely at the hulking man. Batman squeezed him closer, making Joker stammer in protest.  
“Yeah, the Bat got every cent back, though, lest we forget.” Batman tried to front like Joker was getting under his skin, but honestly he was enjoying the banter. He always did. Sometimes he'd write good lines down just to have something to impress his rival with. Joker pouted and bit at the thick armor on Batman's chest, causing him to jump and NOT blush with fury. Batman swatted Joker with a newspaper.  
“The hell-?? Where'd you even get that?!” He hissed. Batman chuckled.  
A moment passed. Batman could hear Joker's nervous breathing, fidgeting. Could almost hear the gears churning in his head. Batman nuzzled him, wondering what wonderful hell those thoughts would bring him. The action caused a stuttering from the clown. Batman hid another smile.  
Finally Joker spat out what was on his mind.  
“What is this?”  
Batman's breath caught in his throat. Joker wasn't looking at Batman, just staring at the space between their chests, his forehead against his breastplate. Batman could just make out a puzzled frown and it hurt. He tried to feign ignorance.  
“Oh don't you know? This is standard rivalry-ship protocol.” he tried. Joker's frown deepened and Batman worried his lip.  
“Seriously, Bats.” Joker looked at him in the eyes, finally, tears beginning to form. “For God's sake, we’re cuddling beneath the starry sky. What is this?” For all of Joker's playing like he's some crazed bastard, the raw emotion in his words forced something through Batman. It was Batman's turn to look away.  
“This is really selfish, you know.” Joker scoffed. “Taking advantage of a man's heart like this. How long can this go on?” he leaned out of Batman’s touch. There was anger in his eyes, feelings Batman didn't think he had the strength to face. But if he wanted this man, this confusing, hurtful, crazed, sexy, stout man in his life he'd have to face one of his biggest fears: intimacy. Honesty.  
Gently, with respect to the space Joker had moved away, Batman put his hands on his shoulders. Joker blinked at him, equipping a wicked glare. Batman sighed.  
“Joker...” he began, shaking a bit. He couldn't look at him. But he needed to say this. The world felt like it was crawling. Time let out a rippling operatic note. Batman's heart stuttered. Missed a beat. He had to do this. “Joker, please, just listen.” the man stilled in his grasp, which was motivation enough for Batman to continue.  
“I know we fight. I know we stand against everything the other believes in. But believe me when I say this Joker. Truly, I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you. I say this with certainty Joker, there's truly nobody like you. I truly, truly, truly, truly, truly need you, God do I know it. When I'm shaking crying shivering by myself, unable to sleep at night, I just think of you. And I can't god damn wait to touch you again. Even if it's you kicking my ass. Even if it's you mocking or berating me. Even if moments like this where we can forget this insanity for just a second and just... Be. Even if they last a heartbeat. I can smile. You're right, I'm sorry, I am selfish. I'm weak. And you carry me through it. You don't know - you can't know - Trul -” Batman got cut off with a hollow OOMPH as Joker kissed him hard. He froze at first, almost tempted to pry the man off so he could finish the monologue he's planned for years now. But quickly still he melted and moaned into the passionate, deep kiss.  
  
“Batsy...” there were tear streaks perpendicular to the jokers somber smile. Batman sniffled before realizing he too was crying. They both grinned stupidly, holding each other close. “Jokes...”  
And beneath the starry night, a long running joke found its punchline.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey uhhhh, im nervous but here! My first fic please be nice to me haha i had 1 person read this so if its bad im so sorry, this was like a small thing because i legit saw the lego batman movie and didn't realize how cute and gay it is? in this the year of 20biteen. I wanna write like this long fic, but until i get around to doing that heres this! sorry if it sucks!!!!!! thank you so much for readin :")


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